by Shakela James ePUB
My intentions were never to be a “baby mama.” I knew for sure that I’d have a college degree, a house, and a career, and a husband before I brought a life into this world. That was the reason I studied so hard in school, didn’t hang out with the popular kids, and didn’t rebel against my parents.
When I turned 17 years old and became the Valedictorian of my class, I knew I was on the right track. I was ready to go to college and embark on my journey towards becoming a corporate lawyer.
Never in a million years did I think that by the time I was eighteen years old, I would be pushing out a baby. Never did I think my life could change so drastically. I had no degree, no career, no house, and no husband; but I had a daughter.
I still remember the night everything changed between us. Or maybe things had already changed, and it was the first time I noticed it. I know for sure that it was the first time I had ever accepted the fact that I was truly just a “baby mama” and Flip had no real plans of making me his wife.
I remember feeling so many emotions that night. I was hurt, angry, confused, disappointed, and betrayed. But I was still very much in love. I loved him too much to hate him so quickly, so I resented him and I hated myself for being so naiive.
It didn’t take long for that resentment to magnify because once the truth is out, you begin to connect the dots to every lie you’ve ever been fed and it makes you wonder if any of it was ever real.
The moment you lose respect for someone, everything changes. The love is still there, but it’s not the same.
You become guarded, you become defensive, and sometimes you just want to hurt them the way they hurt you.
That’s when they start to call you bitter. I never pictured myself becoming a bitter baby mama, but you know what? Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am bitter but I feel like I have every damn right to be.
This is my story.